


like drumsticks to a heart

by WeSayNosoro



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Getting Together, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAAYA!!!!!!!!!!!, Love Confessions, give me more platonic tomoran, kinda cheesy at the end lmao, tomoe is a disaster lesbian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 10:43:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18871600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeSayNosoro/pseuds/WeSayNosoro
Summary: At least Ako would never tease her during her extremely important dilemma, that absolutely had her dignity and pride in the balance.“Just tell her how you feel! I wouldn’t be surprised if Saaya-chan already had feelings for you!”Ah, so young, so naive. So new to this world of love and crushes and heartbreak. Tomoe picked up her phone again, staring at the black screen as though it would magically provide her with the answers she needed.Or, when the perfect opportunity comes up, Tomoe decides it’s time to confess to Saaya, and she realises a few things about friendship along the way.





	like drumsticks to a heart

For the first time, Tomoe was aware of the slight pounding of her heart as she watched the oldest Yamabuki sibling refilling the baskets of bread near the counter, laughing along to Moca's indecisiveness.

There was something about her smile that was so infectious and made Tomoe want to give her the world. Moca had only given her a sly look upon realising the lovestruck expression painting her face, trying to hide a snort of laughter.

"You're in _so_ deep, Tomo-chin," she told her in her playful monotone voice once Saaya had gone back into the kitchen to get more buns.

This snapped her back to reality, having forgotten that she was still staring at the door that Saaya had just gone through. "What? Of course I'm not!"

Moca raised an eyebrow.

"I mean it! She's just a friend! A really good friend."

Moca's expression didn't change in the slightest, and Tomoe tried not to fidget under her unmoving gaze. She certainly could be intimidating when she wanted to be.

The uncomfortable silence was broken when Saaya walked back in, armed with another basket of bread, her ponytail swaying behind her. Every movement was smooth as she set the bread down in a way that showed she had done this many times before. Moca rushed over with surprising speed to grab her favourite bun (her favourites changed every day, and none of her friends could keep up), leaving Tomoe standing there.

Although that didn’t last long, as Saaya waved her over.

“You seem pretty distracted, Tomoe. Is everything okay?” she asked, handing Moca a bag with the bun inside it.

“She’s fine. She’s just ta-“ Moca interjected, but Tomoe snatched the bag from her before she could continue. “Hey!”

Saaya tilted her head, confused, but she eventually shrugged. Man, she was so pretty when she did that. She turned back to Tomoe. “Well, if there’s anything you need to talk about, I’m always here.”

She nodded, dropping the bag back into Moca’s grabby hands, who nudged her lightly in the side. She knew exactly what she was implying, but there was no way she could say anything. Not yet, anyway, when she had absolutely no idea how Saaya felt herself.

And she didn’t want to destroy the friendship they already had.

“I’ll see you later, Saaya. You know that Moca needs her daily loaf of bread to stay alive.”

“And Tomo-chin can’t go a day without seeing y-“

“Nope.” Tomoe grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the bakery, leaving behind a more than slightly perplexed Saaya.

Once they were safely out of the way, Tomoe sighed. Moca watched her, already munching on her bun.

“What am I gonna do?” she said to nobody in particular, running a hand through her hair. She plopped down on a bench and got out her phone, scrolling through her messages to distract herself.

Moca swallowed. “So you’ve finally admitted it to yourself?”

She already had her completely figured out. There was no point in trying to deny it anymore, especially as Moca wouldn’t let it go. “I guess. She’s just so pretty, and kind, and she makes me happy whenever I’m near her.”

“Okay, Romeo, I think I get it,” Moca replied teasingly. She dug around in her bag, taking out another bun, still warm. She handed it to Tomoe. “Here. Saaya told me to give it to you to make you feel better about whatever you were distracted about. But...”

“It makes me like her even _more_ ,” Tomoe finished, gratefully taking it. The thought of Saaya’s kindness put into this bun reminded her of something.

When they were younger, Saaya had come over to Tomoe’s place to help her bake a cake for Ako’s birthday. It was decorated with an iced drawing of Ako’s avatar in her favourite game, and Saaya had put her hands over Tomoe’s as she held the icing bag steady, guiding her along the lines.

Ako adored the cake. They ate it together on her balcony, and it was one of the best days of Tomoe’s life. A simple day with her sister and one of her friends, and it wasn’t even her own birthday.

They had been friends for... a long time. She probably couldn’t guess exactly how many years. But what she did know was that every year, whenever the district held a festival or some other event, it became a tradition for her to walk around the other stalls with Saaya when they were both free, sometimes joined by Ako, Tsugumi and Hagumi. They would take part in the games, and Tomoe still had a small dragon plush that Saaya had won for her in a shooting game.

Then, in middle school, Saaya had told her excitedly that she and a few of her friends had formed a band.

Obviously, they immediately began to think of possibilities for a joined concert with Afterglow, which Tomoe had brought up in front of her friends. They were quickly on board with it all, and she couldn’t wait for the day they could perform together.

Although that never happened.

Now, with a stretch, Tomoe stood up and threw the wrapping in the bin.

“You coming, Moca?”

“Yep.”

 

* * *

 

The second time she was aware of her heart pounding again was as she was about to walk past an all too familiar poster on a lamppost near her home.

Saaya looked so radiant on it, the dress fitting her form perfectly and wearing a bright smile to top it off. Kaoru was gently holding her, as though she had done it a million times before (she probably had).

Tomoe found herself longing to be in Kaoru’s place, but she shook her head to clear herself of those thoughts. It was just a photo shoot after all, and she had plenty of other opportunities to spend time with her friend.

She hadn’t noticed she was still standing there until a voice piped up behind her. “She looks great, doesn’t she?”

Tomoe whirled around, finding herself face-to-face with Kasumi, who was grinning at her. She struggled to find her voice. “Y- Yeah, she does...” she managed to get out, her eyes wandering back to the poster.

Kasumi hummed and sidled up to her, rocking back and forth on her feet. “Oh yeah, Saaya was telling me that she was kinda worried about you. You were acting oddly when you went to the bakery the other day.”

“She said that?”

Yep.” Kasumi stopped to scrutinise Tomoe, who shrank slightly under her gaze. As intimidating as she could appear herself, Kasumi’s enthusiasm and unpredictability was sometimes frightening. “Hey, you like her, don’t you?”

Tomoe froze. “What gave you that idea?”

“You’re so easy to read when it comes to stuff like this!” she replied cheerfully. Tomoe groaned. If Kasumi was able to tell how she felt, surely Saaya would already know.

As though reading her thoughts, Kasumi continued. “Don’t worry though, I don’t think Saaya has any idea. She’s pretty dense about love. But you should tell her everything; you know how she gets when she worries about someone she cares about.”

Tomoe nodded, thinking over her words. The girl on the poster seemed to stare at her, daring her to speak and spill her feelings. She hoped she’d be able to make her smile like that...

“Yeah,” she eventually said, giving Kasumi a determined smile.

Kasumi clapped her on the back. “Good luck! I’m rooting for you!”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Himari, do you think I’m easy to read?”

“Totally. You’re still staring lovingly at that text Saaya sent you an hour ago.”

 

* * *

 

The soft clicks on a keyboard and Ako’s excited chattering into a headset filled Tomoe’s head as she lay half upside-down on the sofa, her phone hanging loosely in her hands.

She hummed again, holding down the backspace button and watching her mostly finished message get deleted. She couldn’t find the correct words to express exactly what she wanted to say, and it was beginning to frustrate her. If Moca were here, she’d tease her and call her a romantic hothead.

Well, she wouldn’t be too far from the truth.

She groaned, rolling over onto her stomach and letting her phone fall from her hands, landing with a light thud on the carpet. At that point, Ako stopped her talking to swivel her chair around to face her, the game put on hold for a moment.

“I never thought I’d see the day when you’d be so flustered over this, Sis,” she said with a small frown, cupping her chin in her hands.

“Honestly, neither did I,” Tomoe admitted, running a hand lazily through her hair, which she guessed was already messy from hanging off a sofa for half an hour. “I just don’t know what to say to her.”

At least Ako would never tease her during her extremely important dilemma, that absolutely had her dignity and pride in the balance.

“Just tell her how you feel! I wouldn’t be surprised if Saaya-chan already had feelings for you!”

Ah, so young, so naive. So new to this world of love and crushes and heartbreak. Tomoe picked up her phone again, staring at the black screen as though it would magically provide her with the answers she needed.

“And with the power of the dark night and... uh...” Ako’s voice trailed off, and a quiet voice came in through her headset. “And the burning fires of a passionate desire, Saaya-chan would never say no to you!”

Tomoe raised an eyebrow at her sister, who went quiet again to listen to the person on the other end.

“Also, Rin-Rin says good luck, by the way!” she added after a few moments.

And now Rinko knew. She wouldn’t be surprised if news of her feelings went round everyone in the bands until they all gathered around her as though she were a sacrifice in a ritual, chanting “Tell her!”

It would probably be the stuff of nightmares, and Tomoe knew she was being dramatic, but how else was she supposed to deal with this?

A slightly muffled buzz from her phone on the carpet snapped her out of her brief nightmare. She picked it up and squinted at the sudden light.

_**designated mum:** hey guys!! I just ran into kasumi-chan and she said that she wants to do a mini-live with us!! Would that be okay with everyone?_

Tomoe almost fell off the sofa at the sudden request. They hadn't had a joint concert with Poppin' Party yet, as much as she'd been wanting to do one, and the group had been formed for a few months already. There were immediate replies.

_**ran mistake:** yeah it's fine_

_**HEYHEYNO:** totally!!!!!!!!!!_

_**breadbreadbreadbreadbreadbreadbreadbreadbreadbre:** yep_

_**disaster lesbian:** sure!_

Tomoe frowned when she saw her username. It seemed like Moca had changed it again, but she couldn't find it in her to complain.

That's when it hit her. A joint concert. With Poppin' Party.

With _Saaya_.

 

* * *

 

" _So_ ," Himari began, slamming a hand down on Tomoe's desk at school the next morning. "You're telling Saaya how you feel at that live. It's the perfect time for it, and, let's be honest, you've been dancing around this for so long that it's becoming unbearable."

Like she didn't need to be told this already. Tomoe had spent the entire night agonising over what she should do at the live, and had reached a reluctant conclusion that she would confess during it. She was brave; she could do it.

"Yeah, you're right," she replied, and Himari put her hands on her hips with a proud smile.

"Perfect!" She grabbed a chair in front of Tomoe's desk and spun it around to face her, sitting in it. She tore out a sheet of paper from her notebook and began to hastily scribble in it. "I was actually talking to Lisa-senpai the other day, and she knows some great tips about asking someone out! Firstly, I'm pretty sure Ran could make you a bouquet for her, and Tsugu can-"

Tomoe smiled, listening intently to her friend ramble on. She didn't want to mess this up at all, because Saaya deserved nothing less than her very best.

She piped up mid-ramble. “I was thinking of telling her afterwards, like backstage when we were all in high spirits.” Himari’s eyes sparkled and she opened her mouth to reply.

“Nah.”

Tomoe and Himari swivelled around to find Moca standing behind them, chewing on a pen. She was wearing her signature smirk reserved for when she was lightheartedly messing with her friends.

“Where did you come from?!” Tomoe exclaimed, wincing when her voice came out a little too loud and got the attention of a few of her classmates.

“I was here the whole time. You just didn’t notice,” Moca said with a nonchalant shrug. “Anyway, wouldn’t it be more romantic to confess on stage in front of everyone?”

Himari stifled a giggle as Tomoe raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been watching too many American teen movies,” she deadpanned.

“But it’s true. I’m a movie connoisseur, and I’ve done all this research to help you with your dilemma.” Moca pouted playfully.

“I agree with Moca-chan!” came another voice, and Tomoe swore there was something wrong with her eyes when she noticed Tsugumi standing beside her chair like she had been there the whole time. “You’ve got to make the most of what you have, right?”

Before she could answer, their teacher slid the door open and everyone scuttled back to their seats. Tomoe flipped open her textbook and tried to focus on the equations in front of her as the teacher droned on, but it was hopeless when thoughts of the concert and Saaya were swarming around in her mind, buzzing like angry bees that just _wouldn’t leave her alone._

So she resigned to staring out of the window the whole lesson, mindlessly doodling little swirls and flowers in the margins of her book.

She was all too glad to be out of that almost suffocating atmosphere when lunch came. Tsugumi had rushed off to do some student council work, and Himari and Moca had gone to the dining hall because there was a new kind of loaf being offered. Tomoe had refused their offer to join them, saying that she needed some fresh air.

She was telling the truth, anyway, and as her friends disappeared down the corridor, she trekked up the stairs to the roof, not feeling hungry enough to bring her lunch with her either.

Quietly opening the door, she couldn’t suppress a smile at the sight of Ran sitting on the floor opposite her, with her back leaning against the fence. There was her usual notebook and pen in her hands, and her lunch was balanced carefully on her knees. She nodded at Tomoe, who plopped down next to her, not too worried about the state of her skirt.

“Writing lyrics?” Tomoe asked, peering over at the writing in the notebook. Ran nodded, but her eyebrows furrowed as she tapped the bottom end of her pen onto the paper.

“I’m not really sure what to put here,” Ran said, turning it slightly so Tomoe could see it better. There were some scribbled out words and small doodles on the edges, as though she had been lost in thought. “I want to make this song good so that Poppin’ Party likes it.”

“Huh... I’m really no expert on writing lyrics, so I’m not too sure how to help,” Tomoe said with a sheepish chuckle. “But same as always, right?”

Ran gave her a small smile in response, and turned her head up towards the sky. After a short while, she spoke again.

"You're nervous about confessing to Saaya, aren't you?"

Tomoe sharply turned back towards her, but her shoulders slumped in defeat at the sight of Ran's magenta eyes studying her intently. "Yeah, kinda. She's just so... perfect, and I don't know what to say to her," she confessed with a sigh.

Ran thought for a moment. "Well, Yamabuki-san is still human, like you. If you're already such good friends, then what's stopping you?"

This was coming from a person who had devoted herself to a band in an act of rebellion, and while Tomoe was similarly hot-headed, when it came to love, the fires in her seemed to disappear in favour of annoying butterflies that never let her forget her gigantic crush.

It was strange how love did this to people. Even people like her who thought they were infallible to anything. The pounding in her chest whenever she saw Saaya's bright smile liked to prove her wrong.

She decided to voice this, knowing Ran wouldn't say anything against her. "...Myself, I guess. I'm afraid of what'd happen if she doesn't like me back, because I feel like everything else comes to a stop whenever I'm with her." She paused. "Love is weird."

Ran slowly nodded in understanding. "But you won't know if you don't try. And if you don't try your hardest, then there's no point in trying at all. So I think you should throw yourself into this if that's what you really want." Having said so much, a hint of pink tinted her cheeks.

A smile growing on her face, Tomoe put a hand on her shoulder. Ran was right; there was no use in moping about it if she hadn't even done anything yet. A renewed fire burned inside her, and she itched to make preparations as soon as she could. "Yeah. I'm gonna follow your advice. You really do say some meaningful stuff, huh?"

Ran fiddled with a strand of hair. "It's nothing, really. And I think that just gave me inspiration for these lyrics."

Tomoe stood up. "Well, I'll leave you to it, then. Got places to go and concerts to prepare. Have fun!" She waved, and Ran gave her a small one in return.

As she exited the roof, she could see Ran's pen flying across the paper from the corner of her eye, and she gained a new spring in her step.

 

* * *

 

It had only been five days since the decision to hold the joint live, and preparations were already in full swing. Tomoe had thrown herself into making this as memorable of an experience as she could, and with the help of her friends, her courage hadn’t faltered.

“Thanks for agreeing to help me, Ran,” she said, as they strolled down the shopping district. They were on their way to Ran’s house, but first, Tomoe wanted to buy her something as a small thank you.

“It’s no problem. You’re really dedicated to this whole thing,” Ran replied, and she was given an embarrassed laugh in response.

Without thinking, Tomoe’s legs carried her to Yamabuki Bakery, and they were standing in front of the door before she knew it. She hadn’t seen Saaya since Moca had dragged her along, and Kasumi’s words still rang in her ears.

“ _She was kinda worried about you_.”

She hoped Saaya hadn’t thought that she didn’t want to be around her, because it was quite the opposite. She wanted to be with her as much as she could, but if she didn’t tell her how she felt, her poor heart might not be able to take it.

She realised that she was still standing in front of the door when Ran lightly nudged her, so she cleared her mind and opened the door. Sure enough, Saaya was behind the counter again, and her face immediately lit up when she saw her two friends.

“Hey, guys,” she said with a bright smile. Tomoe immediately wanted to sink through the floor, but she stood strong.

“Hey, Saaya,” she greeted, and Ran nodded.

“How’s it going? I’ve not seen you in a few days, and you must be busy preparing for the live. I know we are.”

“Yeah, it’s going pretty well.” Tomoe didn’t have to look at Ran to know that she wouldn’t spill her secret, so she could breathe easily.

Ran picked a bun from a basket, and Tomoe got one for herself. She laid them out on the counter with a few coins. Saaya counted the money before frowning.

“Tomoe, I think you gave me too much. There’s enough change here,” she said, and raised her hand as though to give some back.

“Keep the change,” Tomoe asserted. Ran tried to hide an amused smile and turned her face away.

Saaya hummed. “Then I guess I’ll have to treat you, huh? How about next Saturday, the day before the live?”

Tomoe was utterly _beaten_. What she thought was a nice and subtle gesture to help Saaya, ended in the other girl treating her. But still, she couldn’t resist a chance to hang out with her. “Sure! I’ll look forward to it.”

“Alright,” Saaya chuckled, no doubt having noticed the pink tint to Tomoe’s ears. “I’m busy right now, so I can’t stay to chat, but I’ll see you then, okay?”

“Yep!” she replied, a little too enthusiastically. “Have a good day!”

“You too.” Saaya’s smile didn’t falter as Ran steered Tomoe out of the bakery, almost having forgotten how to walk.

“I didn’t know it was _this_ bad,” Ran whispered, almost as soon as they were out of earshot.

“Neither did I!”

They walked in silence for a few minutes, as Ran started eating the warm, fluffy bun. Tomoe’s mind was filled with that soft smile, and the way Saaya had offered for them to hang out next weekend. She didn’t notice the stupid grin on her own face until Ran eyed her suspiciously.

“You do know she basically asked you on a date, right?”

And Tomoe halted, almost tripping over her feet.

 

* * *

 

The walk to Ran’s house wasn’t as long as she remembered. Maybe she had grown a lot lately- they all had, really. Yet it felt like the days of running around in the park after elementary school was only weeks ago. Sometimes she was surprised at how much she had changed since being in a band, and everything was going too fast for her to keep up, even with her fiery attitude.

And Saaya felt like a break from the continuous whirlwind, a much needed breather who would massage her and give her something to eat if she needed it with kind words of encouragement.

But for now, her life showed no signs of stopping. Her plan to ask Saaya out was in motion and there would be nothing in her way.

Which was why she asked Ran for help today: she knew absolutely nothing about flowers.

Although she would never admit it, Tomoe knew that Ran still cared a lot for the family business. She was pretty well-versed in flower language, not that she had any idea what that meant.

“Maybe you should do some research on it,” Ran told her as they headed up to her bedroom. “It’s a surprisingly popular hobby nowadays.”

“Perhaps, but it’s not exactly my thing,” Tomoe laughed, and it was true. She wasn’t much for flowery dresses and cute skirts, but she always humoured Ako and Saaya when they went clothes shopping on the occasions that Saaya was free.

Somehow, all her thoughts kept coming back to her.

They sat in the middle of Ran’s room, and Ran grabbed her laptop from where it sat on her bed. She opened it and began to type.

“So, what kind of things do you want to say?” she said after a while, turning the laptop around to face Tomoe. It was a website with all different kinds of flowers, and Tomoe couldn’t put a name to any of them. She was pretty clueless about this whole thing.

"Does this really need so much thinking?" she asked, eying the pretty bouquets and fonts. "Can't I just pick what looks nice?"

Ran stared at her incredulously for a moment, then cleared her throat and turned the laptop back, setting her face back to a more neutral expression. "You can, but it loses its meaning that way. And if you want to impress Saaya, you should show that you've done your research. Although..." She narrowed her eyes. "I think she'll be happy with whatever you do, research or not."

This sounded like a challenge to Tomoe. She wouldn't settle for the bare minimum, not now, when she had gone so far into this plan already and had promised that she would give it everything she had.

She rubbed her hands together. "Alright. Let's see what we can do."

Ran's eyes gleamed, and she began to explain everything in detail, showcasing her knowledge of flowers from a lifetime of being surrounded by them. She had told her friends that sometimes it felt suffocating, but she really had a passion for it that came out on occasions like today.

Tomoe listened in earnest. They worked for the next hour or so, as though it were a real school project. Maybe she should commit some of that dedication to her actual schoolwork.

People do change, she thought, glancing at Ran. She had changed a lot lately, herself, and it seemed that even somebody like Saaya had grown in the last few months.

She guessed she had Poppin' Party to thank for that. A sturdy group of friends would do wonders for somebody; she had experienced that firsthand.

 

* * *

 

Joint practice was in full swing, the day before the concert. Tomoe’s heart was running at about a mile a minute, for multiple reasons, and she was sure that she’d probably die of a heart attack before the live even began.

Saaya would end up being the cause of her death. She sat behind her drum kit, ready for the song to begin. Despite the wintery weather, beads of sweat rolled down her neck after the effort of practicing since the morning. She nodded at Kasumi, who was suggesting something to her, but her bright eyes caught Tomoe’s for a moment and she smiled dazzlingly.

Tomoe’s heart did another backflip, and she grinned back. Moca nudged her in the side not-so-subtly and even Tsugumi was trying to hide a knowing smile.

Kasumi adjusted her microphone, and the next song began, one that Tomoe recognised that gave all members of Poppin’ Party a nice solo. Meanwhile, Ran shuffled closer to her.

“For this song,” she said in a hushed tone, pointing at her notebook, “I think you should dedicate it to Saaya.”

Tomoe skimmed the lines, realising that this was the song Ran had been having trouble with earlier. Some words felt familiar to her-

“Hang on, did you get these lyrics from what I told you on the rooftop?”

“Well, yeah,” Ran stated matter-of-factly. “I did tell you that you gave me inspiration. Do you want me to take them off?"

"No, it's fine. I was just surprised." Reading over the lyrics, she could tell that Ran has put a lot of though and dedication to them. The words flowed naturally across the page, almost pouring out like water. And somehow, the lyrics felt like home.

Nostalgia filled her heart and sent warm tingles throughout her body, remembering the time spent with the rest of Afterglow and her friends from the shopping district when she was younger. Her parents kept an album filled with these pictures, which she and Ako liked to open and reminisce about.

Her eyes wandered back up to Saaya, who wore an easy smile, the happiest she had seen her for a long time.

“Yeah, I think it’s perfect,” she finally agreed. Ran nodded.

“We won’t practice it now so that it’s a surprise on the day,” she said, tucking the notebook back into her pocket. “Maybe we’ll practice it after your outing with Saaya?”

Oh, right. That was the other thing causing her heart rate to skyrocket. They had agreed on going to the mall after practice. Glancing at the clock, practice was close to wrapping up, which meant she was also close to her not-quite-date.

“Sure.”

“Perfect!” Himari interrupted, clapping her hands together. “We’re Afterglow, we can do this!”

They all laughed, and even Poppin’ Party joined in, their enthusiasm at its peak.

Practice ended shortly after that. After cleaning up the equipment and throwing away the water bottles scattered across the floor, they gathered up their bags and wished each other well for tomorrow.

Tsugumi patted Tomoe on the back when most of the girls had left. “Have fun, Tomoe-chan.”

“Thanks, I will.”

Then she waved and walked out the door, which left only Tomoe and Saaya. All of a sudden, Tomoe became about ten times more aware of the blood rushing to her cheeks, and she willed her heart to stop pounding.

“So, shall we go?” Saaya offered.

 

* * *

 

“Ooh, this is cute!”

Saaya picked up a red hair tie from a small pile, decorated with white polka-dots. Tomoe knew she had a small collection of these at home, and she liked guessing the hair tie that Saaya would pick out each day. Tomoe herself had only grown her hair again over the past couple of years, and she rarely bothered to buy anything to put it up.

Seeming to remember this at the same time, Saaya giggled. “I remember when you cut your hair short after finishing elementary school. I was surprised when I saw you like that the first time. Then Ako wanted the same thing.”

Ako had begged to get her hair cut after that, until she realised she wouldn’t be able to wear the twintails she had always loved. She had said it made her feel more magical or something.

Tomoe’s expression softened. “She’s been growing into her own person more ever since joining Roselia. She’s always telling me about Lisa-san’s new cookies or Misato-san’s amazing vocals. Apparently she even managed to get Sayo-san into one of her online games as well.”

“You’re really proud of her, aren’t you?” Saaya turned Tomoe around and began to pull her long red hair into a ponytail.

“Totally. She’s the coolest little sister I could ever have. You must feel the same way about your own siblings, right?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t give them up for the world, even if they can be hard work sometimes,” Saaya answered with a laugh. She secured the hair tie and stepped back, admiring her work.

Tomoe got out her phone to see how she looked. The ribbon didn’t seem out of place at all, standing out against the colour of her hair, which was kept cleanly out of her face. “You really do have an eye for fashion,” she complimented in awe.

“Ahaha, I think it’s pretty fun. Lisa-san gave me some tips recently,” Saaya said with a slightly bashful expression. “Here, I’ll buy it for you if you like it.”

She really couldn’t refuse. Saaya took her arm and they went to the checkout, as she took off the ribbon to scan it. She paid for it and they left. At this point, Tomoe was expecting them to start heading home, but Saaya seemed to have something else in mind. Keeping a warm hand on her arm, she steered them both out of the mall and down the street.

“Where are we going?” Tomoe asked.

“The park. It’s been a while since we last went.” Saaya squeezed her arm and picked up her pace a little bit.

Being a Saturday afternoon, the park was full of young children playing about when they arrived, reminding Tomoe of herself a lot when she was younger, always with a plaster on her knees or elbows from being too rowdy.

They got to a vacant pair of swings and sat down. Saaya stretched her arms above her head with a content sigh, and they remained in a comfortable silence for a few moments. The gentle breeze lifted their hair, while Tomoe noticed a slightly melancholy expression on her friend’s face. She opened her mouth to speak, but Saaya beat her to it.

“We’re finally performing together, huh?” she noted with a light laugh. “To be honest, I never thought this day would come.”

“Me too.”

_There had been complete radio silence from Saaya and the rest of her band lately, despite promises to perform together soon. Tomoe was worried for them, but whenever she opened her messaging app to ask Saaya about it, she hesitated a moment too long and turned it off._

_Though today, Moca had dragged her to the bakery, mentioning something about it having been closed for a couple of days and she was totally starving._

_Luckily, it was open again now, and Moca rushed inside with a surge of energy. Tomoe followed behind her, and she was greeted with the sight of Saaya restocking the shelves, her back turned to them._

_“Saaya, it’s been a while,” Tomoe said. Saaya’s shoulders perked up at the sudden sound and she turned to face them. She smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes this time. An uneasy feeling settled in Tomoe’s stomach._

_“Yeah, it has been,” she replied with a hint of guilt. “I’ve been kinda busy recently.”_

_Moca went to the counter, a mountain of buns almost spilling out of her arms. “And I’ve missed your family’s food, and you,” she interrupted._

_There was a small wince which Tomoe didn’t fail to pick up. “Sorry about that.”_

_Saaya accepted the money and put the buns in some brown bags without saying much else. “Don’t eat all those at once, okay?” she said when she was done, trying to lightheartedly joke, but Tomoe could see through that - she had known her for years, after all._

_“Saaya,” she began, a little too blunt for her liking, so she softened her tone. “Is everything okay? Is the joint live still gonna happen?”_

_She froze momentarily at at that, her face falling and her fists clenching, but she put herself together and answered with some hesitation, “Not with me. I left the band a few days ago. You’ll have to ask them yourself.”_

_Tomoe reeled back like she had been punched in the gut. Moca’s head shot up to stare at her, her buns forgotten for the moment. But she couldn’t ask her why, because Saaya began to walk into the kitchen._

_“I have things to do now. I’ll see you later, okay?” She tried another half-hearted smile, but that fell flat as the mood had shifted too quickly between the three of them. It was... almost as cold as the melting snow outside._

_Tomoe didn’t move for a few seconds, and it was only when Moca laid a hand on her shoulder that she shuffled out the door, too taken aback to say anything in response._

“Do you regret leaving your old band?” Tomoe whispered now, almost too quietly for the other girl to hear.

There was an almost suffocating pause. Saaya dug her feet into the ground, her hands gripping the chains of the swing. “I... It’s hard to say. I loved them, I still do, and I often think of how everything would be if I hadn’t left them, or if I still refused to join Poppin’ Party. But...” She lifted her head up, glistening blue eyes meeting with Tomoe’s. “None of that happened, and I am where I am. Being with everyone in Poppin’ Party made me realise that there are always others there for you no matter what. I wouldn’t give this up for the world.”

Tomoe silently agreed. She couldn’t imagine her life without Afterglow, even with all the ups and downs. They had been together through everything, and even when there was a rift that threatened to break them apart, they overcame it and got out stronger. If it weren’t for them, she wouldn’t even be doing what she would be tomorrow.

And without Saaya in it, her life would feel that much less warm.

“I’m glad you’ve joined a band again,” she said, leaning back.

“Me too,” Saaya replied. “Lately, I’ve been considering performing once with CHiSPA, for real. To make up for everything.”

“That’s a good idea,” Tomoe said. “Something to remember the old times. And you know I’ll always be there. And everybody else, of course.”

Saaya laughed. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They setting sun began to bathe them in a warm hue, and they stayed to watch it get dark until the stars twinkled above them. And Tomoe knew that she wouldn’t change a thing, either.

 

* * *

 

_**9:32pm  
Saaya:** goodnight! make sure to get plenty of rest for the big day tomorrow!_

 

* * *

 

Tomoe emerged from the changing room to see everybody bustling about, carrying around instruments and refreshments. She held her new hair tie in one hand, searching for a mirror so she could put it on, but Saaya was already there, laying out a plate of chocolate corners on the table and watching Rimi dive straight for them.

“Tomoe!” she greeted brightly. “Here, I’ll put it on for you.”

She hummed as she brushed Tomoe’s hair into a neat ponytail, securing the ribbon around it. Once done, she turned her shoulders around to face her. “You look great.”

“Thanks, you too.” Tomoe almost sighed with relief when she didn’t stumble over her words, and she took a deep breath to stop the blood rushing to her cheeks. Saaya stepped closer, until their faces were mere centimetres apart, and she raised her hands.

“Sis!” Ako came barrelling through the door, bursting with energy as usual, and the two of them jumped back. “Oh, and Saaya-chan!”

“Hey, Ako,” Saaya said with a small cough. “Come to watch your sister perform?”

Ako bounced on her feet, nodding excitedly. “Yep! I’m also here to watch you guys as well. The rest of Roselia are in the audience and they told me to say good luck!”

Tomoe puffed her chest out and she ruffled her sister’s hair. It was considerate of Roselia to come, even if Yukina and Ran were constantly at odds with each other. “Well, tell them we said thank you. We appreciate it.”

“Sure will!” And Ako bounded off again to interrogate Himari about their outfits. Tomoe watched after her with a fond smile and Saaya nudged her in the side playfully.

It was then that Kasumi got everybody’s attention to inform them that they would be starting in a minute. Excited and nervous whispers went around the ten girls, so to alleviate some of that, they did a group cheer.

Poppin’ Party were up first. Tomoe headed to the wings with the rest of Afterglow, so they could watch their performance from the side. There were people cheering, and, peeking around the curtain, she could recognise some of the audience members.

There was Ako waving her arms around at the front, the rest of Roselia standing calmly around her. Even all the members of Hello, Happy World and Pastel Palettes we’re there, along with all their family members, and many other fans of their bands.

Excitement surged through her. She had been waiting for this day for a long time, and it was finally here.

Before the first song began, Saaya caught her eye from behind her drum kit and she made a subtle wave.

And holy crap, Tomoe liked that girl so much.

As the introductions were made and they were transitioning into the first songs, Tomoe found it nearly impossible to tear her eyes away from the drummer. So much effort and energy was being put into her performance, yet this was the happiest that she had ever seen her, surrounded by her best friends and taking part in what she loved.

She almost forgot she was also meant to be performing soon until Tsugumi tapped her on the shoulder. “Come backstage for a moment,” she whispered.

She and Himari led Tomoe away and to the now empty room backstage, clothes and bags and accessories littering the floor and tables. And there, in a bag sitting on a chair, was exactly the bouquet of flowers that Ran had helped her choose the other day. It was weird to see it in person, knowing that she had done it herself, so she picked it up carefully as though it were a fragile vase.

“You don’t need to act like you’re scared of it,” Himari sniggered. “It’s for Saaya. Ran’s father just delivered it.”

“Yeah...” Tomoe held it up, admiring the reds and oranges and whites mixed together.

“You can give it to her once we’ve finished the performance, okay?” Tsugumi offered. “Come on, I know you want to see the rest of their songs.”

After that, the time seemed to pass all to quickly. One minute Tomoe was bobbing her head along to their songs, and the next, Kasumi was closing off Poppin’ Party’s side of the live. She was panting with the exertion, as was everybody else, but her eyes shone like stars.

The band walked off the stage, and Tsugumi handed them their water bottles, ever the caring one. They offered high-fives, and Tomoe could have sworn that Saaya’s hand lingered on hers just a split second longer than it was meant to.

“You were amazing out there,” she complimented.

Saaya plopped down onto the floor beside Arisa, with a laugh that shook her shoulders. “Thank you. It _felt_ amazing to be up there.”

She gave her a sincere smile which totally melted Tomoe’s heart. There was a five-minute break before Afterglow’s turn, which they spent chatting and sipping at the water.

And then Afterglow was on.

Tomoe’s senses sharpened, all the cheers and cries of the crowd bubbling through her and letting that fire burn with a raging brightness within.

Taking a quick glance to the side, she noticed Poppin’ Party standing behind the curtain with encouraging waves.

With the power of all five, no, all ten of them, she could keep drumming until the sun went up tomorrow.

Ran’s voice shook the crowd. Moca’s electrifying guitar solos resounded against the walls. Himari’s bass was deeper and stronger than ever. Tsugumi’s keyboard rang out loud and clear.

And as for Tomoe, she drummed like her life depended on it, her heart providing a steady beat and her sticks pounding effortlessly.

It all passed far too fast, though she could still remember every single second of it. Before long, they were on the final song. Their newest one, with Ran’s lyrics inspired by Tomoe.

They had decided that she would provide the backing vocals, and she gave that everything she had. During that song, all she could think about was Saaya: her soft blue eyes, her wavy hair, her easy smile and her impeccable sense of fashion. Every part of her was etched into Tomoe’s mind, and multiple times she had to resist the urge to look at her in the curtains.

When the song ended, the cheers were so loud that they could probably be heard from Tomoe’s own house. Ako’s arms flailed about wildly while even Yukina clapped, holding up her glowstick that Lisa must have bought for her.

When all that died down, which felt like forever, Kasumi scurried onto stage discreetly to hand Tomoe the bouquet of flowers.

This was the time.

The rest of Afterglow gave her encouraging smiles and Ran stepped aside so Tomoe could use the microphone. Her legs felt like jelly, both from the exertion and from the knowledge of what she was about to do. She approached the microphone and cleared her throat.

Everybody waited with bated breaths.

“So, uh, this may sound sudden, and kinda cliché, but that last song was dedicated to a special someone.” Somebody whistled in the crowd, and, judging from the way that Sayo almost winced at the front, it was probably her twin sister. “We’ve known each other for a long time, so long that I can’t imagine my life without her. More than a year ago, we had promised to perform together sometime in the future, and that has finally happened.”

A choked sound came from the wings. Saaya had probably caught on by now, but Tomoe didn’t stop. “She helped me realise the importance of having friends with you who always care about you, and it was thanks to my amazing friends that I am able to do this today. Yes, even you, Moca.” She couldn’t help putting that one in.

“So, what I’m trying to say here is...” She turned to the curtain, to see Saaya covering her mouth in surprise and Arisa with a hand on her shoulder. “I like you, Saaya. Very much.”

Some people in the crowd clapped at her bravery, but everyone was waiting for Saaya’s reaction.

She was frozen for a moment, her eyes not moving away from Tomoe’s, until she looked at her friends, who nodded. Tae and Arisa put a hand on her back to guide her forward until she was standing on the stage, in full view of everyone.

“Oh my god, Tomoe,” she eventually managed to splutter out. “I cant believe you did all this for me. It doesn’t feel real.”

They were so close, now. Tomoe’s palms were sweating and Saaya’s fingertips were trembling. She slowly, so slowly, reached forward for the flower and took them, taking a deep breath.

Her eyes lifted. There was a hint of tears shining in them, and Tomoe also fought to keep back her own.

“You idiot, of course I like you back.”

That was all the confirmation she needed.

Among all the cheers and whistles and somebody yelling “FINALLY!” (it sounded a lot like Ako), Tomoe couldn’t focus on anything else apart from the girl standing in front of her. Saaya wrapped her arms around her, being careful to not destroy the bouquet, while she laughed and laughed and laughed.

Wow, there was so much that she loved about her. She savoured the feeling of Saaya’s warm body pressed against hers, the scent of perfume and the sound of her laughter.

It had been a long road. A year ago, Saaya had distanced herself from her friends and Tomoe was struggling to accept that they might never perform together.

But now, surrounded by her best friends and with her fingers threaded in Saaya’s soft hair, it was safe to say, Tomoe would never change a thing.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This now beats my chikayou fic as my longest oneshot! 
> 
> It’s saaya’s birthday today and I wanted to do something special for her, and I absolutely adore TomoSaaya, so I wrote this for them. It’s been two and a half years since I discovered bandori and Saaya, and I absolutely would never change that
> 
> Happy birthday Saaya!


End file.
